Our first fight ever was on Valentine's Day 1980. Well, it wasn't really a fight - more like a misunderstanding, but it started a tradition of not so happy Valentine's Days for us. We were seniors in high school and it was our first Valentine's together. Sometime before THE day, I had made a silly comment like "you don't have to get me anything for Valentine's..." YOU know I didn't mean it, but HE didn't get it. So, of course, on THE day, I showed up at school with a card for him and a big red bow that I put on my head (I know. Very lame, but I was 17 - ok?) Anyway, I gave him the card and a big kiss symbolically giving him ME. Then I waited...nothing...I can only imagine what was going on in his head.
"But she said that I didn't need to get her anything! Fiddle!" (He used to say "Oh, Fiddle!" when he was upset - that was his kind of swearing. He has gotten a little more colorful over the years!).
I can tell you what was going on in my head. I couldn't believe that he didn't get me ANYTHING. Didn't he read the boyfriend handbook? He didn't get me anything on Valentine's Day? Wow...he must not really care... Why didn't he read my mind and realize I did want some gesture of his undying love? I tried unsuccessfully to act like my feeling weren't hurt. In his defense, his dad was a pitiful role model on romance, so what did he know?
Everything got smoothed over the very next day when Ron showed up with a poem that he wrote on lined notebook paper just for me. That's all it took! I WAS loved after all...I still have that folded piece of notebook paper and cherish it to this day...
Ever since that first Valentine's Day, Ron has tried to redeem himself but something has gone wrong...like when he decided to take me out to dinner but didn't make reservations, so there was no way we'd get in...or the time he had my diamonds reset into a new wedding ring and the jeweler made a mess of the setting....or the time he got me a coffee mug and it was actually a birthday sentiment on the cup...or the time that he took 5 year old Mandy & Becky to pick something out for me, but ran out of time to take Jenny and she got her feelings hurt...he just couldn't win.
After awhile, I think he got more and more resentful of this "made-up" holiday. He did successfully get me flowers once or twice but it made both of us feel badly for him to spend the ridiculously inflated amount of money for flowers that were going to die in a week or so. I have since let him know that I really DON'T want flowers or chocolates for Valentine's. In fact, I finally did grow up and realize that he didn't need to get me anything for this silly holiday at all. I publicly apologize to him for all the stress and grief that my silly expectations have caused us over this day.
We have spent today playing with our Wild Thing and plan to go to the movies after we drop him off with his mama. It has been a lovely day and there isn't one card, flower or chocolate in sight. Ron is a great guy, a wonderful husband, father and Buddy - He's my Valentine every day of the year and I'm lucky to have him!
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