Someone failed to mention to me before I had children, that being a parent would mean enduring a lifetime of "letting go." Just when I thought that I had it all figured out and had adjusted to my girls being grown and out of the house, I find myself back at the beginning again. No, that's not quite true. I do have more experience with the letting go now so it doesn't hurt quite as much...sort of...
At least now I can look beyond my feelings of loss and focus on how much I admire the strong, independent women that my daughters have become. They are each doing something in their lives that I was never strong enough or brave enough to even attempt. I am proud for whatever part Ron and I had in helping them to become the intelligent, confident and adventurous people they are. It would be selfish on my part to dwell on how much I miss them. I have decided instead to live vicariously through them. I will still worry about them because I am their mother and that's what I do, but I will also delight in their experiences and marvel at their determination.
Today while my youngest is flying to South Africa for a 3 month stay, I refuse to be my normal "Nervous Nelly" self. Instead I am happy for her and proud of her for doing what she has wanted to do for so long. I am also very grateful that she is traveling with someone who loves her and will help to keep her safe. (Thanks, Branden!) So, no tears today...just excitement...but between you and me, I will be relieved when 3 months from now she is back home telling me stories about her adventures in South Africa.
Bon Voyage, Beckie! I love you!
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