Just a theory....

I signed up for a facebook account about 3 years ago. I have enjoyed it more than I can express. It has enabled me to stay in touch with family, sharing stories and photos; generally communicating with people that I haven't seen in years. It is a great way to give and receive support and build a community with friends. I always thought it was a good thing.

It was started for college students. I remember my girls coming home from UCSB on break and seeing that they were doing some social networking stuff on "the facebook." They told me it was just for college students. I had tried to 'do' myspace but couldn't ever really get the hang of it. I think one thing that really appealed to kids was that it was something just for them.

Then one day, it wasn't just for them. As I recall, Jennie, Mandi and Beckie were not overly enthusiastic about accepting my friend request as I started building my list of friends. In fact, I think that it absolutely took the "bloom off the rose" for them now that Mom could see what they were up to....one of my kids (not naming names) actually blocked me from seeing her pictures for a while until I whined enough about needing to see her face.

I'm sure that the people at facebook got a lot of grief over the fact that moms and dads and employers could now check in and see what was really going on with their kids or employees. So here's my theory -
I believe that facebook continues to make changes to it's site to make it less accessible and user friendly to those of us older users who are less tech savvy. Maybe they think we'll get tired of all the changes and bow out altogether thereby giving the kids back their toy.

I'm probably totally off base with my theory. It's just frustrating. They (the facebook people) have taken something fun and useful and made it difficult...AGAIN! I don't have the time, energy and patience to figure out all the new bells and whistles. I signed up for Google + but hardly anyone else is on that and being on that site  would require learning a new system anyway. Good grief, Charlie Brown!

What should I do? Maybe I'll just read a book...

These Boots...

photos by Eileen Melton

I'm absolutely exhausted...Today was the final performance of the Avenidas SDHC Follies. It's been quite a build up to the last 2 days.

We are very fortunate at Avenidas Senior Day Health Center to have several Foothill College classes offered to our participants. Some of these classes include Exercise, Social Change, Music Appreciation, and Creative Expression through Art. These classes are provided throughout the calendar year except for holiday breaks and a 3 week break in September. This break gives our activity staff the opportunity to put on a variety/talent show.  It is truly the event of the season!

The majority of the acts are performed by the participants but lead by our activity aides. Our participants sang, danced (mostly in chairs), acted, told jokes and generally charmed the audience. We also encouraged the staff to be part of the show as well. One of our nurses and even our director of social services agreed to be in the show and did a wonderful job. I couldn't very well ask others to be in the show if I wasn't willing to put myself out there as well....

So, I had a brilliant idea - let's do a group dance number to the old Nancy Sinatra song "These Boots are Made for Walkin'." The activity staff was all for it! Then I thought wouldn't it be funny if we danced it in rain boots?! Once thing led to another and before we knew it we were were wearing rain ponchos and plastics hats while stomping around in rain boots and twirling umbrellas. Granted, it had NOTHING to do with the text of the song, but we wanted to be silly and memorable. Our rehearsal time was limited - 5 minutes here, 10 minutes there - I think the most we ever rehearsed was 15 minutes. I would have liked to say that the performances came off without a hitch...maybe if we'd had just one more 10 minute rehearsal.  The Thursday performance was better than the performance today, but all in all it went well. We got a hearty round of applause both days.

I am very proud of my staff and our participants. None of us are ever going to be rich or famous (especially working in the non-profit sector) , but we each gave our best and had fun doing it. Every time we give of ourselves, we have the opportunity to bring a little joy into the lives of the participants. They love to see us behave with unabashed silliness and since I love to make them happy....

How did I do?

My Rose

My Rose

Technically, Mandi is my middle child because she is one minute older than her twin sister. Her full name is Amanda Elizabeth. Yes, we did name her for the Barry Manilow song - it's a beautiful song and I'm not embarrassed to admit that's where we got her name. I don't think Mandi was ever impressed by that story and in an effort to distance herself from the whole Barry Manilow thing, she changed the spelling of her name from Mandy with a "y" to Mandi with an "i." She has been my "Rose" since she was a little girl as she used to love all things pink and roses.

Today my middle child is off on a new adventure. At this moment she is on a plane on her way to New York City. She is going to be living with her sister jb indefinitely or at least until she decides where to go to graduate school next year. I am absolutely in awe of her bravery to move away from almost everything she knows to experience a different kind of life. I'm trying very hard not to be a mother hen and worry about her, but it's not in my nature NOT to worry.

Instead of worrying, I need to remind to myself that this is the intelligent, resourceful young woman who is a college grad, who worked and lived on her own in Santa Barbara, who traveled to Honduras, and who has completed a half marathon and other races. She also has persevered in spite of being the younger sister of a bona fide  force of nature and the twin of  a free spirited and sometime explosive creative soul. She is every bit a force of nature, free spirited and creative as her sisters, but just more quiet about it.

A lesser person might have gotten lost in the shuffle between these two powerful siblings, an overprotective mother and a dad who knows everything.  Not my Rose. She is flourishing and thriving. In a quiet moment of doubt, she asked me if I thought she was crazy for moving to New York. No, I said. Not crazy at all...BRAVE! I wish I was as fearless as any one of my daughters. I'm glad that she is confident enough to start this new chapter in her life. The little girl who used to hide behind my legs and who used to be afraid of moving up to the next grade in school is flying to New York...

I am so PROUD...a little bit worried...and very grateful that she will be with her big sister. Mostly, I am proud. I love you, Mandi.

Don't forget to call your mother. 

My Glass is Half Full...

(FYI - I started this post before the fire. It’s taken me a while to finish it, but I didn’t want to waste it!)

We are three-quarters of the way through 2011 and I will have to say that this has been a difficult year filled with challenges and mixed blessings. Instead of dwelling on all the bad things that have happened and the state of our economy, I am choosing to look on the bright side of things.

Even though jb is over 3,000 miles away, she is happy, healthy, employed and engaged. Mandi is getting ready to start a new phase in her life as she moves to New York, but she will be with her big sister and will be getting to experience all that the Big Apple has to offer. Beckie is thriving as she discovers more about her passion for writing while sharing it with children through her internship. All a mother can really hope for is that her children are happy and healthy. They all rise up to meet the challenges that come their way and are better for it. I marvel at their bravery and fearlessness. I am a proud mama.

Otherwise, I’ve gotten to see just about all my family except for one sister and her family - I miss you, Stef! We have travelled and gotten to share in all kinds of celebrations – birthdays, a wedding, a graduation and even a stage debut. We continue to be fortunate enough to spend quality time with a small force of nature named Viliamu once or twice a month.

Many people are facing unemployment and hardship, but Ron and I are gainfully employed. Although we would love to be able to sell our house and move closer to where we work, we have a comfortable home and it provides a good home base for the girls. And who knows? Maybe there’s a reason why we are meant to stay in this house for a while…

Finally, since wild fires swept through Texas leaving my mother without a home and most of her belongings, the important thing is that she got out of the house in time. She is well and has a place to live until she and Aunt Esther find another place to call home. Sure – it’s sad that these ladies have to start from scratch, but maybe if they think of it as a fresh start, it won’t seem as bad.

I choose to believe that everything that happens – happens for a reason – to teach us something. It’s not always obvious what the lesson is because we are often too caught up in the tragedy of it all. I’m doing my best to “be still” and listen to the universe. I should have learned this lesson earlier in my life, but I’m not quite 50 yet and at least I learned it!

                

We Remember...

These photos were taken during the summer of 2000...

Homeless but not Helpless!

Mom and Aunti Esther - ALIVE and WELL!

You all know that I try to look at the bright side of any situation - so before I go any further - here is the bright side...Mom and Aunti Esther are  fine...totally un-singed! Truthfully, they are both as tired as I have ever seen them, but they have been through hell - fire and all.

Robbie and Maggie are being very gracious hosts and are doing a great job driving them here and there and making sure that they eat. Robbie was nice enough to pick me up from the airport and didn't complain once about how far Houston Hobby Airport is from his house  - it took us almost 2 hours to get to his house from the airport during Thursday rush hour. (That's the airport that Southwest flies into...oops!) Anyway, Aunti Esther has a good son in Robbie and I think he will be very helpful in dealing with the insurance company. He has driven her out to Magnolia every time there was even a remote possibility that they could get in to see the property. Unfortunately, the fires are still not contained and the police are not letting anyone in - even when Maggie offered the police officers ice cold beverages and lunch! She's a hoot and quite a funny gal!

Mom is doing better than I thought she would. She only really teared up once or twice and considering how emotional she usually is, that's saying a lot. She is tired because she isn't sleeping well, but she is managing her MS symptoms fairly well. The day before I got there, she got the good news that her MRI showed no progression of the MS. See there - something else to be grateful about! She is incredibly sad about the loss of all her photos and a quilt I made for her a few years ago, but I kept reminding her that she made it out safely and that is the most important thing. Photos and quilts are replaceable - people - not so much! As long as the rest of us were reminding her how lucky they were to get out of there safely, she was ok. I imagine that she will continue to need to be reminded in the difficult days ahead.

Aunti Esther is the one who amazes me. It was her house that burned to the ground, after all. When I talked to her on the phone before going out there, she kept telling me "It was only a house...they were only things." She did finally have a good cry before I got there, but she was over it by the time I saw her. She had a bit of a laugh and told me, "Laura Lynn, we're homeless, but we're not indigent!" Every so often I would see her or Mom looking off into the distance with the saddest looks on their faces. Aunti would say to Mom, "Oh, Patsy, my purse that Robbie made me..." Mom kept doing the same thing. "Oh, Esther, all my books..." They kept remembering one thing after another that they had lost in the fire. But Aunti is a trooper and she is already making plans - she is a mover and a shaker even at 77 years old. She is sad but has accepted the loss and is ready to move on to the next phase of her life. I only wish that I will be that strong in the face of adversity.

It was a short visit for me, but we got some things accomplished. I brought Mom some things from home and took her shopping for a few things. Since she and Aunti only had 20 minutes to grab things before they were forced out of the house by fire and police officers, Mom made it out of the house with her meds, the shoes on her feet, a couple of the mu-mu dresses she like to wear, her purse, one pair of eyeglasses and her car. That's it! Trying to make Mom smile I told her, "OK, Mom. You've been through fire and flood. Now all that's left is famine!"

So, our Golden Girls have some decisions to make. They are starting with a clean slate. Now, what do they do...where should they live? They have time to think about it. In the meantime, I want to send hugs and kisses to family and friends who have been so loving and supportive. It has really lifted their spirits to know that so many people care and love them! Thanks, Everyone! We love you, too!

People Watching

(Written at 12:30 pm while I was in the air)

Recently, I have spent a fair amount of time in airports. When reviewing 2011, I think it’s only January and February that I didn’t fly somewhere. Birthday celebrations, a wedding, a graduation, a stage debut and our anniversary have gotten us on a plane this year. Unfortunately, the current trip I’m on has nothing of the celebratory air of the other trips. I am headed to Houston to see if there is anything I can do to help my mother and aunt after the devastating loss of their house and all their belongings in Magnolia due to fires that are still not under control. However, I am continuing to focus on the fact that these two older ladies were SAFELY evacuated – it’s all that really matters.

Anyway, while I was sitting at LAX waiting to find out how long my connecting flight was to be delayed, I settled in for a relaxing session of people watching. I love watching families with babies in tow. It’s funny to watch young mommies and daddies trying to tire their toddlers out before they are contained in the plane. It’s also interesting to see how they manage all the baby paraphernalia they have brought with them for baby’s comfort and their convenience. Baby carriers and strollers have gotten quite sophisticated since the days when I had babies myself. Many things have changed since my early days of flying.

For instance, everyone has a cell phone now. In the airport, there are usually several people with their power cords huddled around electrical outlets charging their phones while they are between flights. Many people have iPads and laptops and some airports offer Wifi, leather chairs and desk areas to accommodate internet users. I brought my laptop with me as well and am writing this blog post while thousands of feet in the air. Times really have changed.

So while I was waiting to get on the plane, I observed quite a few very interesting people. First was a slim, fit looking woman around my age, (late 40’s – early 50’s). She was neatly groomed and casually dressed. What was different about her was what she was doing in the airport. There she stood just 50 feet from the gate and she was exercising with a theraband. For those of you who don’t know, a theraband is a 6 inch wide strip of elastic rubber sheeting that you can find at physical therapy clinics. It helps the person using it by offering resistence according to different exercises attempted. So here was this nice looking, middle-aged woman in the middle of the airport with one end of the pink theraband (it happened to match her outfit!) under her left foot, while she pulled the other end with her left hand doing bicep curls. After several repetitions, she put the band under her right foot and did bicep curls with her right hand! That’s some dedication to physical fitness!

Next my attention was drawn rather abruptly to a couple to my right who were having a very difficult conversation. She was sobbing loudly and asking the man with her to hold her. He was doing everything he could to make himself disappear, but it wasn’t working. I felt guilty to be witnessing something so private, but the young woman didn’t seem to care who could see or hear her. The man spoke to her in a low voice seeming to try to calm her down. Finally, he tried to put his arm around her. By that time, she wasn’t having it! She shouted at  him, “ you couldn’t hold me when I asked you to, so now JUST. DON’T. TOUCH. ME!” He slunk down in his seat, pulled his cap low and covered his face with his hands. Perfect time to stretch my legs and make one last trip to the restroom. I don’t know what he did to her and she was the one crying, but I felt more sorry for him. Poor guy.

  

So Grateful

I had been working on on a blog post about seeing the glass half full instead of half empty. But after what has happened in the last 36 hours I would have to say that my cup runneth over.

Yesterday, my mom and Aunt Esther were given 20 minutes notice to evacuate their home. Why? They were under threat of the wild fires that were getting dangerously close to the house.They were able to get their medications, a few clothing items and their cars out of Remington Forest, their subdivision in Magnolia, Texas. Mom called me last night as they were leaving the house.  Lucky for all of us, Aunt Esther's son, my cousin Robbie and his wife Maggie opened their arms and their home to both of them.

I stayed in contact with Mom and Aunt Esther over the course of the day. I tried to encourage Mom to stay positive and not to assume the worst. Aunt Esther kept saying, "It's only a house. They are only things." Aunt Esther is one tough cookie! I was watching fire maps and news feed on the internet all day. It didn't look good.

At about 6 pm their time, they received confirmation from one of their neighbors that the house was gone - burned down to the ground. It's just awful - they have lost all their belongings. Right now, Mom  seems shell shocked. At the moment she seems most concerned about the loss of all her photos. I told her not to worry - I could replace all of those. What concerns me is how she will cope as the waves of realization hit her on all she has lost.

This could have been a very tragic story. What if they hadn't gotten out in time? There is hard work ahead and decisions that will have to be made, but the bottom line is that this is a story with a happy ending. They are safe and well.  Within seconds of notifying my siblings and cousins about what had happened, I received texts and calls and requests of "What can we do to help?" Thank you to everyone that have sent their prayers, and expressed their love and concern. These ladies are going to be fine and I am just grateful.

A 3 day weekend...

...and no idea what to do with it! Actually, that's not true - I have too many things to do. How do I choose? There are always movies to see - that is definitely on my list. And then there are a couple of art exhibits I would love to see in San Francisco - at MoMA it is the last few days of The Steins Collect - Matisse, Picasso, and the Parisian Avant-Garde; at the de Young Museum there is an exhibit of Picasso's Masterpieces from the Musee National Picasso, Paris. Now, if all that isn't enough, there is also the Sausalito Art Festival and last but not at all the least - we get to have our Wild Thing here for a sleepover tomorrow night.

Other things on my wish list include household chores, grocery shopping, sewing, a Michael's run, and a little crafting. Even with a 3 day weekend - it's not enough time. The bottom line is - I will not do any work related projects. Don't think badly of me, but I'm going to be selfish with my time. I'll let you know how I do! Wish me luck!