Transitions

For several years I have been writing "Tales from an (almost) Empty Nest," but the truth is that we've been transitioning. When Beckie flew to New York to visit JB last week, I realized that for the first time ever Ron and I are here in California without any of our daughters. The nest is truly empty now and I'm trying to figure out how I feel about that.

Now that the girls are all doing their own things and living their own lives, it has occurred to us that we aren't tied to California anymore. Granted, we both have jobs here, but I suppose we could work anywhere. I'm not saying that we are hell-bent on leaving here, but the fact that the girls don't need us or a home base anymore opens us up to a new world of possibilities.

This new world includes a lot of work. First up, DOWNSIZING! We have started clearing the clutter, but there is so much more to do. The girls have accused me for years of being a hoarder. I have called myself a collector. Now that I'm having to deal with all of my "stuff" I think I'm starting to agree with the girls!We've lived in this house for 13 years and it's amazing how much stuff we've accumulated...sigh...

As we clear the clutter, we have also started doing little fix-it projects around the house. All this will lead us to be able to list the house for sale. After that, who knows?! We fix the house, sell the house and start looking for a new place to live. No big deal - just a little upheaval. I don't know - it's kind of exciting to think about everything that could be. I think I'm ready for something new.

Photographic Evidence

More reasons that I love my job...

...absolutely serene...

Blessings

What are the 3 things that you aren't supposed to talk about in mixed company? Politics, sex and religion. I'm not going to write about politics or sex here. I am uneasy talking about religion, but I feel like I have to give you a little background to talk about the interesting position I find myself in at work. I am working as the Life Enrichment Director at a retirement community for retired nuns.  Aside from feeling like I don't have enough hours to do the job justice, this is the most happy and satisfied I have ever been in the working world.

So here is a brief background on my religious life. I am what you might call a "fallen-away" Catholic. I was born and baptized Catholic. I even made my first Communion. Beyond that, going to Mass was not a priority in my home. We went to church on Christmas and Easter...sometimes. I think part of it was that my mother was divorced and was not able to participate fully in services. It became easier not to go. What I remember about going to Mass is that I loved the ritual and was comforted to belong to something that seemed so big.

In high school, I felt a need to be part of some kind of religious community. I joined a Bible study group and started going to a Christian church with friends. As a senior in high school, I joined a lovely little community church in Indiana, was married in that church and even had Jennie baptized at Grand Avenue UMC. I felt a great sense of belonging there.

Fast forward to 2013. For many reasons that I won't go into now, belonging to a church became much less important. Now I can describe myself as spiritual, but not at all religious. After my illness and being unemployed for over a year, it was time to dive back into the working world. A friend connected me to a friend of hers who had recently started working at this retirement community for nuns. We had a phone interview that went very well and then agreed to a time for a face to face interview. I was nervous, but once again, things went well and I was offered the position.

I recently passed the 6 month mark of working at this retirement community. It is the most rewarding job I have ever had and it gives me so much satisfaction to do things for these women who have spent their lives in service to others. I had worried that me not being Catholic would at some point become an issue, but not once have I been asked what my religious affiliation is. The Sisters are always gracious and grateful for even the smallest things I do for the Community. I have had the opportunity to attend Mass on occasion and it has reminded me of when I was young and enjoying the ritual of it all. Even though I have no intention of rejoining the Church, I do feel that in some way I have come back. It is enough for me to get to spend time with the Sisters doing things for them and organizing events and activities to enrich their lives.Working with them and for them is a real blessing.

Today I am grateful for my job!

Long time no see....

Remember me? It's been awhile, I know. One of the reasons you haven't seen me here for awhile is that I was experiencing some technical difficulties with the website and I was a little too lazy to figure out what was wrong. I even tried a new website, but really didn't like it. I think I have figured it out now so we'll see it this actually gets posted.

One of the things that was gumming up the works is that I have more than one gmail address and I think my computer and/or the website got confused about who I am.  I get confused about that too sometimes.

I've been a busy gal, too, with my new job and re-learning how to balance work, home and family. I will also admit to a bit of soul searching about why I should or shouldn't continue to blog and whether or not anyone should care about what I have to say. What I have decided at this point is that I enjoy writing and it's therapeutic for me. I don't think my opinion is any more important or valuable than anyone else's so I'm ok with it if no one reads what I write.

What else have I been up to? I have experienced some blessings and some losses, done some traveling and spent time with family, celebrated a few holidays, seen lots of movies, knitted quite a bit and read a couple of books. Rather than trying to go back re-live everything and write about it, I believe I'd like to start afresh here. We'll see how I do.

Before I went on hiatus, I had been writing down the things I am grateful for. I think that's something continuing. Today I am grateful for...

1. A loving husband.
2. Wyatt Cam
3. Sunday brunch with 2 of the Beeson Beauties.

a sad day

I have been working with older adults for 20 years.Over the years, I have met some really wonderful people and occasionally, I make a good friend.

Don and I became friends about 3 years ago. Despite some physical disabilities and problems that came along with age, Don had a great sense of humor and a positive outlook on life. He allowed me to to interview him for a paper I wrote for my Psychology of Aging class and was incredibly open and accommodating. Don always had a joke to tell. We often kept in touch by reading and commenting on each other's blogs. No matter what I wrote, he always had a positive comment for me. He almost always included a joke at the end of each blog post.

When I became ill in May 2012, Don sent me his support by emailing me jokes and funny stories 2 or 3 times a week. He was a firm believer that "laughter is the best medicine." He continued to do this throughout my illness and recovery. When I was well enough and able to drive again, I went to visit him. I finally got to meet his feathered kids, Chipper and Pepper. Here he is with Chipper...

A couple months ago, I noticed that he wasn't writing on a regular basis. One day he wrote, "Not feeling well. Try again later." Worried, I called him and he said that he was having a battery of tests run. He was gratified that his doctor was putting him at the head of the line to have the diagnostic tests done. This doctor even went to his home to talk to him and check on him. While I was in Georgia in November, a mutual friend of ours called to tell me that Don was in the hospital - he was receiving treatment and his body wasn't tolerating the treatment very well. His condition was very serious...

When I got back to California, I went to visit him. He had lost a considerable amount of weight, was weak, but still had a positive outlook. We visited for about an hour and a half, but I left when I got the feeling that he was getting worn out. Before I left, he said that he wanted to take me and Ron out to dinner to his favorite Chinese food restaurant when he was feeling better. I wish I could remember the name of the restaurant. I told him, "It's a date!" gave him a hug, kissed him on the cheek and waved good-bye.

Last week I got a letter from his son saying that Don was coming home from the hospital. I called him on the way home from work today only to find out that he had gone home on the 13th and passed away on the 15th. I can't tell you how sad I am that I didn't get to see him one more time and say good-bye. I am sad knowing he won't read this and that there won't be a comment from him at the end of this entry.

Today I am grateful to have had a friend named Don.

connected

I had every intention of writing on my days off, but I was busy with one thing and another and now it's time to go back to work tomorrow. As it turns out, I will be working 4 days and off 3 for the foreseeable future. That's ok with me.

The story I wanted to tell is that last Friday I accidentally left my phone at home when Ron and I went to work. I was out of sorts all day - I felt undressed without my phone - disconnected from everyone. What on Earth did we do before the days of the internet and smart phones?

I hate how dependent I have become on technology. It's upsetting to be in a restaurant and looking around at the other patrons to see them all glued to their phones instead of talking to their dinner companions. On the other hand, I am incredibly grateful to be able to stay connected to family and friends with news and photos.

Today I am grateful for ...
1. New pictures and videos of Wyatt (via facebook and phone!).
2. Homemade minestrone soup!

and that's enough!

working girl

The beauty of having a part-time job is that I work 3 days and am off 4 days each week. During the holidays, I worked a little extra to make up for the time I spent in Georgia (with the most beautiful little boy in the world). Now I'm back to my regular schedule - 3 days on - 4 days off. Besides the fact that I LOVE my job, this schedule works out perfectly for me.

Today was a chore day - laundry, post office, Target, grocery store...I also finished putting the last of the Christmas decorations away. As I get ready for bed, I'm very satisfied with what I accomplished today. Tomorrow through Thursday I will be at work and I will be happy to be there. Working with the sisters at Oakwood is more rewarding than I could have imagined. What a lucky gal I am to have the best of both worlds.

Today I am grateful...
...that Mandi still needs her mama when she isn't feeling well,
...that I got all my chores finished,
...and that I have a great job to go to tomorrow.

a little under the weather

I have been holding off a cold for about two weeks now. It was the holidays, Jenn was here and I had a job to do. I didn't have time to be sick. The cold finally got the upper hand yesterday. Luckily,  I have had the weekend to deal with it.

I've been watching a lot of TV  - spending a lot of time in bed - and sleeping a lot. I did manage to make a big pot of soup, to take all the Christmas decorations down, get them packed up and put away. Little accomplishments that made me feel not quite so useless.

Today I am grateful -
....for lazy Sundays and a very comfy bed,
....for Netflix,
....and for mango passion fruit tea.

almost broadway

Last night Ron and I went to see "Book of Mormon." We have wanted to see it for a long time. Having heard so much about it for so long...that it had won several Tony awards...that it was so funny and irreverent...sounded like our kind of show.

We liked it fine. It was funny and irreverent, The music was pretty good. The cast (for the most part) was excellent and really committed to their roles. Maybe we would have liked it better if we had seen it in New York - there's just something about seeing a show on Broadway. At the end of the day, it won't go down as one of our favorites. It was a nice evening out, though!

Today I am grateful...

... that Jenn made it home safely last night...

...that's it's not as cold in New York today...

...and that I live in such a beautiful state with lovely, temperate weather.

back to normal

The holidays are over.

The clearest indication of the end of the holidays for me was that today Beckie was at work, Mandi went to class and Jenn flew back to NYC to her real life. What a true delight it has been to spend time with the girlies during the holidays. It has been more than lovely having Jenn here for the last 16 days. We talked and laughed and cried and hugged and cooked and ate and went to movies and discussed and went to musical performances and watched TV and sat and were still. It was wonderful watching my 3 grown daughters interact with each other  - it's so much fun to have them all together.

The house is quiet now. The girls are all back in their own spaces. It's ok, though. Ron and I have the house back to ourselves. I have learned that quiet can be good, too.

Today I am grateful for Jennie, Mandi and Beckie.

Happy New Year!

I've decided not to make any New Year's resolutions this year. After reviewing my track record for the last few years, there doesn't seem to be a point in making any big pronouncements here. What I hope to do this year is focus on the things for which I am grateful. I may not have the chance to write them down here every day, but when I can, I will.

Today I will tell you that I am grateful for the unconditional love of my wonderful husband, for good health and for forgiveness. It's gonna be a good year!